Zon's Art Cave

For the past half year i have been unemployed. It has been both a blessing and a curse. A cutse because im unable to afford rent and buy anything i want, like a new tablet, supporting my favourite streamers, pay for art lessons, or even just food.
But also it has been heaven, because: Hey! I got all the time in the world to spend on what I really want. To draw to paint to animate and work towards my hobby. To become good and skillful!

But half a year has passed, and I look back at a disastruous time. Little to no progress towards getting a new job has been done on my end, anxiety and slothness has been consuming me. I have been drawing more than before! But not kidding myself, i couldve gotten just as much done while being employed. I didnt use the tons of free time to educate myself, to draw every day, to work on my value, shading, color composition ect.

And I’m thinking to myself: “Is Art my Hobby or do I want it to be my ritual?”

I had the time. Sure, I didn’t have the funds, but my family supported me financially enough that I wasn’t worried about starving or rent, haha. But I got my sketchbooks, I got my drawing programs, and I got plenty of sources and tutorials to teach myself the tools i need to become a better Artist. And from the potential 100% I could give, I have drifted astray and gave like… 20% at best? Fighting with myself to muster up enough motivation and work on another Drawing. I have booted up my Comission reference sheet and have been slowly working on one comission at a time. Mid-December I took upon myself to support a charity stream and draw animations for people who donated a certain amount of money as a reward. Two months later I have not finished all of them yet. 

Now what do I mean with Ritual? If you want to be a professional artist, I will have to be able to offer something worth paying for. And for that, Art must -consume my day-to-day life. Thinking all day about art, new ideas, inspirations, working on projects, looking for feedback, educating yourself. Giving 10% is not enough, I need to give 100%, if not even 120%. 

Now I want to give 100%. I want to get into the industry, and make it my living. Pay rent with it and get the freedom to work on what I love. I have been watching Kienan Lafferty’s Youtube Show #327: Joining the Art industry.
And he talks about the process about becoming an Artist. Great artist, great personality, amazing video.

With 2017 I have had a staggering start. I made “some” progress. But I want to make a lot of progress. Furthermore, I want to push my own limits and test my resolve. If I want this Dreamjob to become reality, I will have to work fulltime on it as if I’m getting paid for it already. But also I want to turn inwards and find my center. take this time that i still have to improve myself and prove myself that I am committed. Of course, money is still a real problem, so there will be priorities. 

Concretly, I want to rework my own schedule, have hours that I reserve for drawing, for learning, for my other duties, and be efficient with my time. 

If you came this far, thank you for reading through my rant. I just felt like I need to type out whats on my heart and share it with someone. Anyone, really. The support of my followers on twitter, tumblr and in the roleplaying communities has been heart warming. Special thanks to APGamingREAL, Swargula and EricVulgaris and their respective communities. For the Mathsquad and their moral support/critique, and for The Art Posse. 

Kinda out of things to say. Uhm. Yarr!

Inspired by Ambris’s Challenge, I’ll join with the 2nd Week!

8. Centaur
9. Harpy
10. Dragon
11. Demon
12. Mermaid
13. Alraune (Plant Girl)
14. Succubus
15. Ghost
16. Dullahan
17. Witch
18. Mummy
19. Cyclops (with Multiple Limbs)
20. Oni
21. Drider (Spider Girl)
22. Minotaur
23. Nekomata
24. Lizard
25. Chubacawbra
26. Kappa
27. Kelpie
28. Monster Girl and her SO
29. Favorite Monster Girl Character
30. A Group of Monster Girls Together